Are You a Cool Kid? Or, Just Trying to be One?

A common frustration of small or micro business owners is that the larger firms won't do business with them. "Why won't they return my calls?" "If they just listen to me, they will know they need my product." The truth is the larger companies are referring to and giving small/micro businesses a chance. They are returning calls and they are listening to them. So why aren't they doing business with you? The answer is simple, you don't want to do business with them. You want their money and they know it.

Something strange happens to the small/micro business owner when they are face to face with their ideal prospect. They suddenly become babbling fools who can't handle the conversation.

Let's take a walk down memory lane, remember when you were in school? There were "the cool kids" and "the not so cool kids". You were either "a cool kid" or trying like hell to become one. The cool kids only accepted or respected those that were cool like they were. Was there a secret handshake that kept most of us out of the group? Yes, it was called confidence. The cool kids didn't strategize all night on how they were going to be accepted by the popular crowd. They just showed up and assumed they were one of them. They spoke to them as if they belonged.

As business owners we do the same things. Smaller companies are so caught up in wanting to be noticed by the bigger companies that when they finally get their chance to participate in "the cool kid group", they blow it!

· Try to impress them
· Send a friend over to talk to them first
· Act like a subordinate to show respect
· Trick them
· Assume they want or need whatever you are selling without asking the appropriate questions.
· Treat the prospect like a checkbook or transaction

These maneuvers didn't work on the playground and they don't in business.

People want to be treated like people and can sense when there is a perceived agenda. It's all about the attitude and level of confidence you display that truly gets you in with "the cool kids". Someone shouldn't buy from you to give you a chance or because you need the money. Show your customer the value in what you do by becoming a resource. Show your knowledge, ask questions to determine the need. I can read a brochure to find out the features and benefits.

Be sincere! One of the worst mistakes is to pretend to engage in activities, hobbies or interests of the person whose attention you wish to gain. If golf is a common interest, share your experience. Don't pretend that you enjoy golf if you have never been on a golf course. You will look foolish and the level of trust will diminish. It's ok to ask about hobbies or interests to find out more. The important thing is to be yourself, and not force the connection. You may discover that there is a common ground, or not.

Listen! It's about the relationship, not the transaction. By building the relationship you will gain their trust. They will tell you if they are going to buy, and when they plan to do so. If they aren't going to buy and they trust you, they may refer you to others they may want to buy.
Enter the conversation without any expectations, if you focus on making the sale, chances are you won't. Even worse, you may discover that a sale was made to someone you never wanted as a customer.

This is a long winded way of saying "You will gain your greatest results by being yourself." Think about the way you behave in your current relationships (Personal & Business). Why do they like you? Why do they do business with you?

Acting natural and confident is the crucial ingredient to creating long lasting business relationships with the customers you are interested in working with. Relationships/trust can't be rushed or forced, but can be nurtured and developed.